Mary McBeth

Writer, Editor, True Believer

INTRODUCTION POST

Hello! Please reply to this post in the comment section below so I know that you know how to reply to a post. Please introduce yourself and tell us:

  1. Your course pseudonym and general location
  2. What you write and if you are published or pre-published. Have you already written a lot or not very much?
  3. What do you want to write – Why you signed up for this class- what you hope to gain from it.
  4. What are your secret hero skills?
  5. What is your favorite word and why?

Do you have particular challenges and problems you want to overcome? Are there things you’ve always wanted to put into words but never could?  Now is the time to put it out there.

6 responses to “INTRODUCTION POST”

  1. Mary A McBeth Avatar
    Mary A McBeth

    My Intro Post

    I’m Mary McBeth, your instructor for The Survivor Writer Workshop. A New Yorker who has moved in and out of the country many times, globetrotting to escape my trauma, I most recently moved from Boquete, Panama to Durham, North Carolina in March 2018 to direct Memoir Magazine as its Editor-in-Chief. As far as US towns go, Durham is my dream town— one with an above-average emotional IQ, diverse, progressive, caring, with a population of writers and teachers, and positively bursting with river, bike, and hiking trails.

    Every day I read, write and edit and publish memoirs and personal essays. My work and the people I’ve gotten to know are amazing. So that’s a confirmation to me that it’s always good to take a leap if your heart and soul tell you it’s the right thing to do and at the right time.

    This is why I’m so looking forward to exchanging writing and our thoughts and perspective during the next 6 weeks. Whatever the mysterious, mystical element is that calls us to be writers, it’s exciting, comforting, and nourishing when it’s shared. I believe we create a sacred circle of writers in workshops, so I welcome and treasure the honor of being part of this writing group.

    Mary

  2. Dawn Avatar
    Dawn

    Hello, fellow writing cohorts. I’m Dawn and live in the Midwest where I was raised. For the last decade, I’ve been working on a novel about the impact on the women of generational incest. I chose fiction to get my story out because reliving the pain of memoir seemed too much. However, over the years, through grad school and beyond, the process has helped me face the origin story. Perhaps it’s time to start a collection of essays based on my perspectives as child, mother and grandmother to accompany that novel and/or to help me reach the end of that novel. My secret shero skill is that of courage. The strength comes from survivorship. But courage pushes me forward to the places I thrive. Peace is my favorite word, because that’s what abused children always want. Freedom from abuse, a release from painful memories. As I face yet another tragedy in my life, one that triggers the trauma of my childhood, I am seeking a stronger relationship with my writing self in a bond that can’t be broken.

    1. Mary McBeth Avatar
      Mary McBeth

      Hello Dawn! and welcome! It’s always a great time to start a collection of essays. I find they also assist with quantifying ones research for longer projects as well. Child, Mother, Grandmother I can’t think of a more powerful way to illustrate the impact of generational trauma on the women. It is perhaps the single most pressing issue the world needs to understand better. There are so many forms of abuse and trauma attached to it: For example, Victim Silencing (the reason it’s taking humanity so long to get a clue about this) is one we will open with in Week 1.

      Many of us come to memoir through fiction for similar reasons; I myself found I couldn’t successfully write the character representing my mother until I explored the way all the (few) facts I knew about her childhood could add up to the person she had become. And boom! There I was in the full blown origin story of my memoir! That’s when everything changed for me and essays became my preferred mode of writing. It’s been a rough journey, but there really has been so much treasure in “them there hills.”  Perhaps the most miraculous outcome was that I found each new essay was a load off of my psyche on onto the page. Once I tell the story it (the pain) no longer lives in me, but in a work of art, like a  painting. Without the weight of that story, my health is better and I’m truly happy for the first time in my life. It’s as you say “courage pushing you forward to the places where you thrive.”

      We certainly do want peace and freedom and the courage to pursue these when all else seems to work to thwart these. You are so brave to dive in in response to your current tragedy. Yeah, I can see courage is definitely your superpower. I’m committed to helping you reach your goals over these next 6 weeks and beyond.

  3. Magnolia Avatar
    Magnolia

    Hi, I am Magnolia. I live in the Pacific Northwest. I grew up in India. I do a lot of journaling to gain perspective about my life. I’ve been published twice so far – one book review essay and one fictional short story. Each time I think of publishing, the common theme that I end up writing about is always relationships, communication, culture, sexuality and an intersection of these. It maybe out of habit, but I bounce back to writing short scenes and journaling; rarely edited or refined for any external audience.

    In this workshop, I want to write to understand how my old experiences of assault/abuse effect my present life and how I interact with others; especially at work. But also outside of work. Being raised by a mother who was also sexually assaulted and experienced incest, I hope to gain clarity on and unlearn some messages that I internalized as a child. Maybe also untangle the spaghetti of external society/culture intertwined my the shame passed on  from her parenting style. As an immigrant, these things are more important so I understand multiple dimensions about these experiences.

    It is liberating to watch and work with people from various backgrounds describing similar experiences. I gain perspective on the numerous times my culture has saved me, and the times that it has drowned me. I don’t want to lose myself in the process, since these things can be trigerring. I want to still remain whole. I also want to establish a craft and practice writing to get published, beyond just personal reflections.

    My secret hero skills are grit, resilience and self-expression.

    My favorite word is Yohan. It means God is merciful.

    1. Mary McBeth Avatar
      Mary McBeth

      Welcome Magnolia! I can totally relate to having also been raised by a mother who was also sexually assaulted and experienced incest. For me, it has been like being a super sleuth in a maze, where every turn, every new encounter, holds a clue to solving the vast and sometimes frightening mystery of me. First Learning there are other ways to be a family and then realizing its up to me to make it happen, and the years we spend attempting to build a healthier life for ourselves and our own families. Our trauma becomes a never-ending journey to the self. But then it is sometimes a comfort to remember that so is any well-lived (examined) life. and in this, we (Survivors) have a huge head start.

      I totally get it. Being from a (paternal) family of immigrants has saved me by forcing me to relentlessly analyze American culture, and yet it presented its own challenges (my American family was incestuous, and my immigrant family was cold and emotionally neglectful).  I see how many toxic habits/beliefs can sometimes be cultural, or personal, or both! One almost has to journal to figure out and contemplate which beliefs are our own and which ones are “inherited” from our family or cultural group or society in general. This is the magic of reading and writing memoirs. It untangles the noise.

      I agree it is refreshing to learn (through diverse interactions) which is which and the ways we all must climb.

      Journaling (what I consider to be the original Memoir practice) is the greatest self-discovery tool for so many reasons. When you say you “ want to establish a craft and practice writing to get published, beyond just personal reflections.”  Just know that memoir is the way. You may even come to realize that all writers (beyond strict news journalists) are writing personal reflections. Even when examining the biographies of known fiction writers, we discover they are all constantly producing veiled versions of their truth. Knowing yourself and being able to express it to reader will always serve you well on your writing journey. Craft and time management can be learned but honest self-inquiry leads to mastery, of both writing and life.

      When you say “I don’t want to lose myself in the process, since these things can be triggering.” When you fear you might be “losing yourself” it can help to get into your body through meditation, exercise, taking a bath, listening to soothing music, being in nature, or using something close on hand to touch and bring you “down to earth” anchor you in the present  “real” time, like a stuffy or pet or something else that makes you feel present and safe.

      Also, it helps to consider and write about: What does the word triggering mean to you? What do you see (in your mind’s eye) occurring when you are triggered?

      “I want to still remain whole.” Just know that all that you are will positively inform your writing and you will only gain more in the process, for there is no self to lose when we recognize and accept that we (humans) are always evolving. Must evolve or wither and die. You will become more whole through this transformation, not less.

      Love that word! God is indeed merciful. So glad you are here!

      1. Magnolia Avatar
        Magnolia

        Thank you for your kind words, Mary! I cannot agree with you more. Its true that there are different types of dysfunctions in maternal (in my case, incest) and paternal (:codependence) families. Identifying and naming it is half the solution. Its untangling the sphaghetti already. We can then study similar case-studies and research to describe our patterns growing up.

        Noted. I am getting back to my journaling practice. 🙂 Its painful when I can’t journal. Craft and time management from a writing perspective are also underway.

        I define triggerring as anything that makes me fear my future. For me, desire or response to desire (even when its not translating to action) is triggerring. It feels as though there’s a darkness in me that is out of my control. And others can use it against me. And I get nightmares, for example: I’m exposed, shamed in public. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and my nails have dug half-moons into the soft of my palm; achy finger-joints from the tight fists overnight. This is in the aftermath of a confusing male transaction at work. (He used to look at my breasts, then look at my eyes to indicate interest). I am afraid for my career + he takes turns being a kind mentor and being a passive aggressive boss; so I am good to him (even in my mind). Now, if I have to write about it, the same shame and pain stop me. What’s happening here is so deep, I can’t see in the darkness. Sex (sometimes abuse/harassment) and love are different. Why can’t I treat them like that. To me, they’re like conjoined twins attached at the hip.

        I am so happy about these questions and discussions. Its great to be here.

Mary McBeth